ScrappleFace: Senators Take Out $800 Billion Homeland Equity Loan
(2004-11-17) -- The U.S. Senate today voted to increase the federal debt ceiling to $8.18 trillion by applying for an $800 billion Homeland Equity Loan through Ditech.com.

Under the terms of the loan, which the President of the Senate Pro Tempore applied for online in only minutes, the United States government can borrow up to 80 percent of the value of the nation with no credit checks.

"At first we thought about cutting spending on bloated federal bureaucracies which strip people of their dignity by trying to solve their problems for them," said one unnamed senator, "but that's hard. So we decided to borrow more money instead."