The Onion | Republicans Call For Privatization Of Next Election
It's about time, don't you think?
WASHINGTON, DC—Citing the "extreme inefficiency" of this month's U.S. presidential election, key Republicans called for future elections to be conducted by the private sector... "Voters need an incentive to get to the polls," said potential contractor Fred Mitchelson of Accenture, formerly Arthur Andersen. "It's not like the old days when people were motivated by a sense of civic pride—that's just too Waltons. We're in negotiations to partner with. Best Buy. Under our plan, every voter would receive a coupon for 20 percent off any purchase up to $500—it would actually pay to go to the polls! It'd be great exposure for Best Buy and a fantastic opportunity for us to hit and exceed that magic six-zero. Oh, and this whole registration thing has gotta go." Mitchelson said prior elections failed to take advantage of the "vast potential for corporate tie-ins and advertising revenue." "There is a lot of untapped revenue in elections," Mitchelson said. "We could get sponsorship for every blank surface in the polling place easily—I mean everything, from the back of the ballot to the curtain itself. If we really want to break out of the box, we don't even have to stop at surfaces. We could pipe music by Sony recording artists into the voting booths."
[more]
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Remember--this is satire. See how quickly reality catches up to it. Here is McKenzie's First Law of Politics: American politics is rapidly reaching the point where it will be impossible to satirize because every absurd thing will have happened or at least been proposed.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Condominium - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This one is worth reading. Check out the "international meaning" of condominium: two sovereign powers. Now, just for a thought experiment let's apply that logic to the domestic context, who are the two sovereign powers? The condo association and the municipality, or the condo association and the owner?
This one is worth reading. Check out the "international meaning" of condominium: two sovereign powers. Now, just for a thought experiment let's apply that logic to the domestic context, who are the two sovereign powers? The condo association and the municipality, or the condo association and the owner?
The Condominum Owners' Guide to Mold | CMHC
When did it become necessary for homeowners to read up on things like this? Can't we just watch TV and help our kids learn their multiplication tables?
When did it become necessary for homeowners to read up on things like this? Can't we just watch TV and help our kids learn their multiplication tables?
Amazon.com: Books: Condominium: "Here is a panoramic look at the shocking facts of life in a Sun Belt community -- the real estate swindles and political payoffs, the maintenance charges that run up and the health benefits that run cut...the crackups and marital breakdowns...the disaster that awaits those who play in the path of the hurricane..."
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
ScrappleFace: Senators Take Out $800 Billion Homeland Equity Loan
(2004-11-17) -- The U.S. Senate today voted to increase the federal debt ceiling to $8.18 trillion by applying for an $800 billion Homeland Equity Loan through Ditech.com.
Under the terms of the loan, which the President of the Senate Pro Tempore applied for online in only minutes, the United States government can borrow up to 80 percent of the value of the nation with no credit checks.
"At first we thought about cutting spending on bloated federal bureaucracies which strip people of their dignity by trying to solve their problems for them," said one unnamed senator, "but that's hard. So we decided to borrow more money instead."
(2004-11-17) -- The U.S. Senate today voted to increase the federal debt ceiling to $8.18 trillion by applying for an $800 billion Homeland Equity Loan through Ditech.com.
Under the terms of the loan, which the President of the Senate Pro Tempore applied for online in only minutes, the United States government can borrow up to 80 percent of the value of the nation with no credit checks.
"At first we thought about cutting spending on bloated federal bureaucracies which strip people of their dignity by trying to solve their problems for them," said one unnamed senator, "but that's hard. So we decided to borrow more money instead."
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
The Church of the Pink Flamingo?
The pink flamingo is the universal symbol of suburban bad taste, and also the underground symbol of the anti-HOA movement (don't tell anybody). Now it has become the center of a religious cult. Well, not exactly:
PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) - A holiday display at Cranston City Hall that included a menorah, a Nativity scene and plastic pink flamingos in Santa hats didn't violate the separation of church and state, but the mayor's restrictions on what went into it did hinder free speech, a judge ruled.
Last winter, Mayor Stephen Laffey encouraged residents to put seasonal displays he deemed appropriate on City Hall's front lawn. A menorah went up, followed by an inflatable snowman and Santa Claus, and a Nativity scene. They were followed by a flock of plastic flamingos sponsored by a resident who said they represented the "Church of the Pink Flamingo," a tongue-in-cheek protest against the holiday display.
The state chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union sued on behalf of a resident, arguing that the city was violating the First Amendment separation of church and state, and that Laffey's oversight amounted to a restriction on free speech.
U.S. District Judge William Smith rejected the religious argument on Monday.
[more]
The pink flamingo is the universal symbol of suburban bad taste, and also the underground symbol of the anti-HOA movement (don't tell anybody). Now it has become the center of a religious cult. Well, not exactly:
PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) - A holiday display at Cranston City Hall that included a menorah, a Nativity scene and plastic pink flamingos in Santa hats didn't violate the separation of church and state, but the mayor's restrictions on what went into it did hinder free speech, a judge ruled.
Last winter, Mayor Stephen Laffey encouraged residents to put seasonal displays he deemed appropriate on City Hall's front lawn. A menorah went up, followed by an inflatable snowman and Santa Claus, and a Nativity scene. They were followed by a flock of plastic flamingos sponsored by a resident who said they represented the "Church of the Pink Flamingo," a tongue-in-cheek protest against the holiday display.
The state chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union sued on behalf of a resident, arguing that the city was violating the First Amendment separation of church and state, and that Laffey's oversight amounted to a restriction on free speech.
U.S. District Judge William Smith rejected the religious argument on Monday.
[more]
Constitutional Local Governments: a new weblog
Arizona HOA activist George Starapoli has a weblog. Thanks to Fred Pilot for the pointer.
Arizona HOA activist George Starapoli has a weblog. Thanks to Fred Pilot for the pointer.
Monday, November 15, 2004
Rat rescuers a growing trend
I'm not sure, but I think this sort of thing might run afoul of some covenants or other. Plague, anybody? I'd say the Ratapalooza crowd will have to avoid HOAs and stick to apartments.
Associated Press
Nov. 15, 2004 12:00 AM
ELYRIA, Ohio - Jennifer Mitchell's apartment is full of rats, and that's exactly how she wants it.
Mitchell runs a rat rescue mission, caring for dozens of rats from people who get overwhelmed when their pet rodents have multiple babies.
Mitchell, of the Ohio town of Elyria, represents a growing trend of rat enthusiasts across the nation, including some who gathered last week in Seattle for Ratapalooza 3. The event is billed as an educational expo for domestic-rat fanciers and breeders.
[more]
I'm not sure, but I think this sort of thing might run afoul of some covenants or other. Plague, anybody? I'd say the Ratapalooza crowd will have to avoid HOAs and stick to apartments.
Associated Press
Nov. 15, 2004 12:00 AM
ELYRIA, Ohio - Jennifer Mitchell's apartment is full of rats, and that's exactly how she wants it.
Mitchell runs a rat rescue mission, caring for dozens of rats from people who get overwhelmed when their pet rodents have multiple babies.
Mitchell, of the Ohio town of Elyria, represents a growing trend of rat enthusiasts across the nation, including some who gathered last week in Seattle for Ratapalooza 3. The event is billed as an educational expo for domestic-rat fanciers and breeders.
[more]
Sunday, November 14, 2004
New York Daily News - Home - Dead end for rebates
Property tax rebates for dead people--I guess NYC doesn't need the money.
The city is sending some $400 property tax rebates to people who can't use them: dead homeowners.
In a snafu of killer proportions, city officials conceded yesterday that a small percentage of the 581,000 rebate checks recently mailed out were mistakenly addressed to the dearly departed.
That became clear recently to Giro Nazzaro, 70, of Morris Park in the Bronx, who received a $400 check on Oct. 26 - addressed to Katherine Boggia, the woman he bought his Sacket Ave. house from 23 years ago. Records show Boggia died in 1985 at the age of 78.
Property tax rebates for dead people--I guess NYC doesn't need the money.
The city is sending some $400 property tax rebates to people who can't use them: dead homeowners.
In a snafu of killer proportions, city officials conceded yesterday that a small percentage of the 581,000 rebate checks recently mailed out were mistakenly addressed to the dearly departed.
That became clear recently to Giro Nazzaro, 70, of Morris Park in the Bronx, who received a $400 check on Oct. 26 - addressed to Katherine Boggia, the woman he bought his Sacket Ave. house from 23 years ago. Records show Boggia died in 1985 at the age of 78.
Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Junk food ads banned to fight fat epidemic
In the US we seem to be moving toward market arrangements in lieu of government control. But in the UK, the opposite trend seems stronger. How about this example of government nannyism?
In the US we seem to be moving toward market arrangements in lieu of government control. But in the UK, the opposite trend seems stronger. How about this example of government nannyism?
Study: Public-school teachers' kids go private
Teachers in urban public schools send their own children to private schools at nearly double the national rate of private-school attendance, according to a new study by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute in Washington, D.C. Nationwide, 12.2 percent of all families in urban, rural and suburban settings send their children to private schools. But 21.5 percent of urban public-school teachers send their children to private schools.
...
The current gentrification of cities is largely restricted to childless couples, both young and old, and upper-income parents who are confident that they can find either an acceptable public school - including charter schools - or an affordable private school for their own children. Few middle-class parents will tolerate bad schools, the study concludes: "To escape them, they will pay out-of-pocket or vote with their feet. That is what discerning teachers do and the rest of the public, we believe, is simply modeling their behavior."
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Sure--this is undoubtedly true, and it makes sense. People want the best education for their kids that they can afford. Public school teachers are no different. But what the article doesn't point out is the fact that unionized public school teachers overwhelmingly vote for the Democratic Party, claiming that Republicans want to privatize public education and demanding that all levels of government shower more taxpayer money on failed public schools--schools that these teachers won't use for their own kids. So, public school teachers vote for their own economic self-interest but use their taxpayer-funded salaries to send their kids to private schools. Democrats at the polls, Republican as parents.
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Teachers in urban public schools send their own children to private schools at nearly double the national rate of private-school attendance, according to a new study by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute in Washington, D.C. Nationwide, 12.2 percent of all families in urban, rural and suburban settings send their children to private schools. But 21.5 percent of urban public-school teachers send their children to private schools.
...
The current gentrification of cities is largely restricted to childless couples, both young and old, and upper-income parents who are confident that they can find either an acceptable public school - including charter schools - or an affordable private school for their own children. Few middle-class parents will tolerate bad schools, the study concludes: "To escape them, they will pay out-of-pocket or vote with their feet. That is what discerning teachers do and the rest of the public, we believe, is simply modeling their behavior."
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Sure--this is undoubtedly true, and it makes sense. People want the best education for their kids that they can afford. Public school teachers are no different. But what the article doesn't point out is the fact that unionized public school teachers overwhelmingly vote for the Democratic Party, claiming that Republicans want to privatize public education and demanding that all levels of government shower more taxpayer money on failed public schools--schools that these teachers won't use for their own kids. So, public school teachers vote for their own economic self-interest but use their taxpayer-funded salaries to send their kids to private schools. Democrats at the polls, Republican as parents.
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Saturday, November 13, 2004
ScrappleFace: Bush Took Charge During Cheney Hospital Visit
It seems that the constitutional succession provisions are working fine.
It seems that the constitutional succession provisions are working fine.
The Border Mail:Feral family made him do it
Ah, yes: "The ferals made me do it." I know I'm sick and tired of the ferals living up the road from me. If only we had an HOA with a "no ferals" covenant.
BRETT James Poulter was pushed to the limit before reacting and attacking a neighbours car, causing more than $1500 damage. Solicitor Mr Chris Halburd told Albury Court this week that Poulter moved to Myrtle St in West Albury earlier this year and became sick of a neighbours children “terrorising the neighbourhood”.
He had approached their father in the hope of resolving the situation but according to Mr Halburd was told to leave in frank and rude terms.
It was followed by gestures and threats towards Poulter.
So he reacted by picking up a childs bike on September 26 and attacking the car belonging to the offending family. When police arrived a short time later, Poulter told them he was “sick and tired of the ferals up the road”.
He also told police he was annoyed by the man at the residence often showing his penis to nearby residents and urinating on his front lawn.
Poulter, 32, pleaded guilty yesterday to a charge of malicious damage.
He had used the bike to hit parts of the car and cause damage totalling $1576. Mr Halburd said the Department of Housing has since moved the family causing the problems following further complaints. Poulter was convicted, put on a 12-month bond and ordered to pay the compensation for the damage.
Ah, yes: "The ferals made me do it." I know I'm sick and tired of the ferals living up the road from me. If only we had an HOA with a "no ferals" covenant.
BRETT James Poulter was pushed to the limit before reacting and attacking a neighbours car, causing more than $1500 damage. Solicitor Mr Chris Halburd told Albury Court this week that Poulter moved to Myrtle St in West Albury earlier this year and became sick of a neighbours children “terrorising the neighbourhood”.
He had approached their father in the hope of resolving the situation but according to Mr Halburd was told to leave in frank and rude terms.
It was followed by gestures and threats towards Poulter.
So he reacted by picking up a childs bike on September 26 and attacking the car belonging to the offending family. When police arrived a short time later, Poulter told them he was “sick and tired of the ferals up the road”.
He also told police he was annoyed by the man at the residence often showing his penis to nearby residents and urinating on his front lawn.
Poulter, 32, pleaded guilty yesterday to a charge of malicious damage.
He had used the bike to hit parts of the car and cause damage totalling $1576. Mr Halburd said the Department of Housing has since moved the family causing the problems following further complaints. Poulter was convicted, put on a 12-month bond and ordered to pay the compensation for the damage.
'The city stole my car'
Who says HOAs have all the fun with foreclosure for peanuts? The City of Chicago will boot your car for unpaid traffic tickets, impound the sucker, tack on a pile of towing and storage fees, and threaten to sell your car if you don't pay the whole thing. But then if you don't pay the full amount, the city will sell your $13,000 car to a junker for...$125.
Then the junker will turn around and sell the car for $4000.
That'll teach you. But it won't teach the city much about basic arithmetic. We could do better with Homer Simpson as mayor.
Who says HOAs have all the fun with foreclosure for peanuts? The City of Chicago will boot your car for unpaid traffic tickets, impound the sucker, tack on a pile of towing and storage fees, and threaten to sell your car if you don't pay the whole thing. But then if you don't pay the full amount, the city will sell your $13,000 car to a junker for...$125.
Then the junker will turn around and sell the car for $4000.
That'll teach you. But it won't teach the city much about basic arithmetic. We could do better with Homer Simpson as mayor.
Yahoo! News - Atlantis Hunt Reveals Structures in Sea Off Cyprus
NICOSIA (Reuters) - An American researcher on the trail of the lost city of Atlantis has discovered evidence of man-made structures submerged in the sea between Cyprus and Syria, a member of his team said Saturday.
Robert Sarmast, who is convinced the fabled city lurks in the watery depths off Cyprus, will give details of his findings Sunday. "Something has been found to indicate very strongly that there are man-made structures somewhere between Cyprus and Syria," a spokesperson for the mission told Reuters.
...Greek mythology says Atlantis was a powerful nation whose residents were so corrupted by greed and power that Zeus destroyed it.
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See where corruption with greed and power gets you? With a better HOA, Atlantis never would have sunk in the first place.
NICOSIA (Reuters) - An American researcher on the trail of the lost city of Atlantis has discovered evidence of man-made structures submerged in the sea between Cyprus and Syria, a member of his team said Saturday.
Robert Sarmast, who is convinced the fabled city lurks in the watery depths off Cyprus, will give details of his findings Sunday. "Something has been found to indicate very strongly that there are man-made structures somewhere between Cyprus and Syria," a spokesperson for the mission told Reuters.
...Greek mythology says Atlantis was a powerful nation whose residents were so corrupted by greed and power that Zeus destroyed it.
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See where corruption with greed and power gets you? With a better HOA, Atlantis never would have sunk in the first place.
"Challenged neighborhood
What happens at notorious 'Zoo' is criminal"
Life in a blighted condo complex...
RIALTO - People living in the Rialto Apartments behind Eisenhower High School know well the sign of a drug deal, the sound of a gunshot and the smell of sun-bleached urine. And for months, they felt the inconvenience of having to go to the post office after a firefight stopped daily deliveries.
Driving into gunfire on Winchester Drive last summer was the final straw for a letter carrier. She had already heard rumors about violence in the area. Now she'd seen it. Concerned about safety, the U.S. Postal Service in July told residents of the Willow-Winchester neighborhood to travel two miles south on Willow Avenue for their bills and packages. Or go without. The list of problems goes on and on: Many of the 160 units are dilapidated and boarded up. Animal feces and trash form a pungent ground cover. Fire hydrants, for a time, were turned off. The community pool is drained. In jest of the neighborhood's Third World nature and in reference to a notoriously deadly part of Los Angeles known as "The Jungle' residents dubbed it "The Zoo.' It's a war zone where two-bedroom condos rent for $800 or more per month and residents are afraid to go outside at night. Some of the tenants receive federal housing assistance; most are working poor who can afford no more.
...
The condominium complex was built in 1969 as an affordable housing project and it was a gem, Dutrey said. When it first opened, there were no absentee landlords; owners occupied every unit. "It used to be a decent, nice place. Old people would be yelling at young ones to not step on the grass,' said Jarryd, 45, who declined to give his last name and lives in a unit on Clifford Street. "It got bad, little by little.' As people began to move away, they kept their properties or sold them to management companies. Renters poured in, the homeowners' association weakened and the snaking complex became a disjointed neighborhood with 90 owners none apparently living there. Crime skyrocketed. "It is a definite constant struggle to manage the property,' said Doug McGoon of Wheeler Steffen Property Management, which oversees the vast homeowners' association. "We are dealing with drugs and gunshots instead of ugly curtains.' He said the crime is fostered by greedy absentee owners who don't screen tenants.
[more]
What happens at notorious 'Zoo' is criminal"
Life in a blighted condo complex...
RIALTO - People living in the Rialto Apartments behind Eisenhower High School know well the sign of a drug deal, the sound of a gunshot and the smell of sun-bleached urine. And for months, they felt the inconvenience of having to go to the post office after a firefight stopped daily deliveries.
Driving into gunfire on Winchester Drive last summer was the final straw for a letter carrier. She had already heard rumors about violence in the area. Now she'd seen it. Concerned about safety, the U.S. Postal Service in July told residents of the Willow-Winchester neighborhood to travel two miles south on Willow Avenue for their bills and packages. Or go without. The list of problems goes on and on: Many of the 160 units are dilapidated and boarded up. Animal feces and trash form a pungent ground cover. Fire hydrants, for a time, were turned off. The community pool is drained. In jest of the neighborhood's Third World nature and in reference to a notoriously deadly part of Los Angeles known as "The Jungle' residents dubbed it "The Zoo.' It's a war zone where two-bedroom condos rent for $800 or more per month and residents are afraid to go outside at night. Some of the tenants receive federal housing assistance; most are working poor who can afford no more.
...
The condominium complex was built in 1969 as an affordable housing project and it was a gem, Dutrey said. When it first opened, there were no absentee landlords; owners occupied every unit. "It used to be a decent, nice place. Old people would be yelling at young ones to not step on the grass,' said Jarryd, 45, who declined to give his last name and lives in a unit on Clifford Street. "It got bad, little by little.' As people began to move away, they kept their properties or sold them to management companies. Renters poured in, the homeowners' association weakened and the snaking complex became a disjointed neighborhood with 90 owners none apparently living there. Crime skyrocketed. "It is a definite constant struggle to manage the property,' said Doug McGoon of Wheeler Steffen Property Management, which oversees the vast homeowners' association. "We are dealing with drugs and gunshots instead of ugly curtains.' He said the crime is fostered by greedy absentee owners who don't screen tenants.
[more]
Committee to Explore California Secession
Here are the brain-trusters at MoveOnCalifornia, or some such collection of middle-of-the-word capital letters and run-on words, claiming that it is time to think about this ridiculous proposal. The irony of this idiocy is that the nation-state that would result would be every bit as divided as the nation itself, because within California there are Democratic counties along the coast and Republican ones inland.
Here are the brain-trusters at MoveOnCalifornia, or some such collection of middle-of-the-word capital letters and run-on words, claiming that it is time to think about this ridiculous proposal. The irony of this idiocy is that the nation-state that would result would be every bit as divided as the nation itself, because within California there are Democratic counties along the coast and Republican ones inland.
Donation saves soldier's home from zealous homeowner's association
Just when you think the word has gone out to HOA presidents and their lawyers that you need to show some common sense in assessment collection, you read something like this, and you think--is it possible, in the final analysis, that they will literally never learn?
RIVERVIEW - A bay area soldier came home to a very unpleasant surprise recently: huge fines from his homeowner's association. But it didn't take long for an ordinary citizen to take action for Bernie Haithcock.
Haithcock, an Air Force reservist, is frequently gone on active duty for long periods of time, often to Robins Air Force Base in Georgia.
"I will try to make it home every three or four weeks," he explained.
One time, he didn't make it back for four or five months. He returned to his Riverview home to find his homeowner's association bill for $200 and another bill from the association's law firm.
"I think it was like $700," he continued.
Haithcock felt he deserved a break on the legal fees because he was away helping to protect the country. But the president of the Villages of Lake St. Charles Homeowner's Association felt active duty was not a legitimate reason to miss an association payment, and the association put a lien against the house.
"I think it was irresponsible of him," Kate Cockerill stated. "I mean, he wouldn't let his mortgage payment go for two months."
While the two sides sparred by phone, the late and legal fees built to $1,400. Then local contractor Robert Hoskinson of ICC Contractors heard about Bernie's plight.
"I was a little appalled that the attorney would run the bill up on the fella," Hoskinson observed.
Hoskinson decided to show his appreciation for the armed forces by paying Bernie's bill.
"I just felt like it was important that we pay this bill, my company, and help this man get back to work so that he can protect our national interest, which is really the most important thing right now," he explained.
In addition to Hoskinson's help, Bernie's attorney, Kenneth Grace, helped out by taking the case pro bono.
Just when you think the word has gone out to HOA presidents and their lawyers that you need to show some common sense in assessment collection, you read something like this, and you think--is it possible, in the final analysis, that they will literally never learn?
RIVERVIEW - A bay area soldier came home to a very unpleasant surprise recently: huge fines from his homeowner's association. But it didn't take long for an ordinary citizen to take action for Bernie Haithcock.
Haithcock, an Air Force reservist, is frequently gone on active duty for long periods of time, often to Robins Air Force Base in Georgia.
"I will try to make it home every three or four weeks," he explained.
One time, he didn't make it back for four or five months. He returned to his Riverview home to find his homeowner's association bill for $200 and another bill from the association's law firm.
"I think it was like $700," he continued.
Haithcock felt he deserved a break on the legal fees because he was away helping to protect the country. But the president of the Villages of Lake St. Charles Homeowner's Association felt active duty was not a legitimate reason to miss an association payment, and the association put a lien against the house.
"I think it was irresponsible of him," Kate Cockerill stated. "I mean, he wouldn't let his mortgage payment go for two months."
While the two sides sparred by phone, the late and legal fees built to $1,400. Then local contractor Robert Hoskinson of ICC Contractors heard about Bernie's plight.
"I was a little appalled that the attorney would run the bill up on the fella," Hoskinson observed.
Hoskinson decided to show his appreciation for the armed forces by paying Bernie's bill.
"I just felt like it was important that we pay this bill, my company, and help this man get back to work so that he can protect our national interest, which is really the most important thing right now," he explained.
In addition to Hoskinson's help, Bernie's attorney, Kenneth Grace, helped out by taking the case pro bono.
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